Customer Service with Chinese Characteristics

So this is a typical example of customer service in China: In Starbucks, where the employees actually undergo extensive western-style customer service training.

For Christmas, they were playing a recording of "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" on what sounded like a toy casio set to full volume. The song was a loop of a single inaudible verse and a jangling chorus, repeating itself endlessly. It sounded like a child's toy, or some kind of doorbell.

After ten minutes of this I was ready to jab pencils in my ears. So I went to the counter and asked, in a very light happy mood (because anything else will certainly result in stonewalling in China), what's this music?

Girl A: Smile, nod, walk away.

I'm still standing there, she sees me, but is avoiding me by appearing busy. Ok, maybe a language problem (though being a teacher, I know it's not).

So I went to the register. Hi. What's this music?

Girl B: Smile, nod: Yeah, I know! (Walks away)

Me: (To Girl C) It's bad. It's terrible. (Smiling, just being friendly).

Girl C: (Smile) Yeah. So they all avoid looking at me, in order to avoid further conversation, but they can't get away from the counter as they are busy. So I speak just a little louder, still amicable, to talk to all of them at once, and let them know I'm not ready to go away just yet.

Me: How can you stand it? Isn't it boring? (I'd say annoying but they are more likely to understand "boring!").

Girl B: Smile, nod: Because it's Christmas.

Me: Really? But the music is quite annoying. (Um, customer has a concern..do you? No).

Girl: In China we think music is happy. Maybe because you're American you think it's something else. (Smile).

Me: (Or maybe it's because you have no standards and your thinking is bound in prejudices). It doesn't matter where you're from, you're playing the same two lines of music over and over and that's got to annoy people. How can you stand eight hours of this? (Translation: discrimination? Really? No Chinese would have any problem with this? Wow, that's quite...a conceit. I talk to Chinese for a living. I know better).

Girl: I know. Because it's Christmas. Chinese like to celebrate with loud music (affecting an excited shiver).

Me: Don't you want to hear something else?

Girl: In China ...

Me (thinking): Here we go....

Girl: Everybody thinks music is happy. Where are you from?

Me: None of your business. (Smiling. And thanks for the condescension). I'm just trying to help you. It sounds like you want to push customers out. (Which would make sense if there was a lot of foot traffic - there wasn't).

Girl: smile.

Me being an old China hand, I just walk out never expecting any actual response or acknowledgment - however I've seen plenty of times when visitors do let it get to them, and rightfully so.

This is why I think Collectivism (Communism? Socialism?) is such a brilliant social scheme. It makes complaining a self-defeating process. The complainer is blamed.

The "good" citizen is voluntarily mute. Forbearance is a virtue. (Change is...inconceivable. Except the change of making more money, of course). But castigating complainers and avoiding the issues - that's brilliant.




Well you do get this kind of customer service. I'm no chronic complainer, nor do I advocate prejudice. I live and work with the locals. Married a local, and have a bi-racial baby. I'm sorry if I don't accept being treated as an ignorant tourist - maybe that's my crime. Here are some reasons why someone from China culture (probably a Chinese person too, coincidentally) wouldn't complain:

• It's futile
• It's arrogant to disturb the mutual illusion of harmony
• Nobody believes you anyway, everybody's got an angle
• Patience is Gallant, indignation is Goofus
• If you're not responsible, I'm not responsible
• You ignore my dagger, I'll ignore yours
• Roar, tiger, while I pelt you with peanuts!
• Insincere courtesy is just more civilized
• Must breathe spite in lieu of oxygen

And on a related note:

• It's natural law that people smoke in public, or drink and drive. What kind of fool could ever imagine otherwise?

Here are a few customer service no-no's I've encountered, things which would not fly in my own business (if I had employees):

• A side dish of bamboo in sauce comes with a worm in it: Solution: bring another bowl from the same pot. Do NOT refund the 10 RMB dish on a 200 RMB ticket. Better to lose the customer altogether.
  
• A restaurant takes an hour to deliver food to the table. Customer complains; offer customer discount. At the end of the meal, discount a 140RMB meal ($20 US) by 4 RMB (60 cents US).
• A slow lunch hour in a restaurant. Two waiters and one customer. I hear the cook's bell, with my lunch, no doubt. The waiters are standing around joking for another eight minutes before they bring my dish - cold. When I complain, the manager argues that I'm wrong (ok, this is quite normal in China) and TAKES A BITE OF MY LUNCH to see just how cold it is. When she thinks it's "good enough" for the likes of me, I "arrogantly" leave and refuse to pay.
• At Blue Frog in Superbrand Mall, a western style bar and grill, the waitress recommends I try the lunch special. I'm a big guy. The special lists various sandwiches and salads and soft drinks for 50 yuan. I choose the Sante Fe Chicken Sandwich with salad and cola. They bring me half a salad, and half a sandwich. I said nothing, but they knew - expected - my reaction. They knew I wasn't satisfied, and slinked away before I said something. I thought, on what planet did you think this would satisfy someone like me? On Planet Oblivious, perhaps. But this is Planet Screwjob. So I did say - in a very nice manner - "it wasn't satisfactory, it was misleading and dishonest." I ordered another lunch after the first lunch. I stiffed the tip.
• A class in which we conducted a press conference. A few students would represent the company with a defective, harmful product, while the class played the press. Four defective products, four conferences, and each and every one blamed customer error. Each and every one claimed the company was not responsible, but instead tried to persuade the others why they were somehow at fault.

Mark this: many, if not most conflicts, in China, lead to this result:
YOU misunderstand, YOU misuse, YOU need it explained, for goodness sake evade and avoid truth at any cost. Convincing yourself you are always "right" - rationalizing all reality to bend to your definition - is far more important. (But that's another rant).

I want to clarify something. I'm not complaining because I think I'm a superior being. Far from it. But I know customer service, and I have spent my career providing it to the best of my abilities. I have less patience for poor customer service and irresponsibility masquerading as "innocence and good mood". But as a customer I don't vote with my mouth. I vote with my money.

Which is the best advice I could give on responding to customer service in China.

The point is, there isn't such thing as customer satisfaction in China. There is argument, but at no time should one expect any kind of regard or affirmation. It's just pissing on a wall. So don't take it personally, (which it probably is), but - you can't expect responsible behavior or creative solutions from people who have been taught they are not responsible for anything that happens to them, even their own life choices. And for goodness sake don't commit the crime of clarity. In China, we just repeat rationalizations and stereotypes, even if they actually conflict. As long as the delusion is safe.

Also do not make the mistake of being a rich foreigner in an scarcity-ridden country that wants your money but not your good will - as it is not reciprocated where money is concerned.

A cup of coffee is utterly meaningless in the grand scheme of things. As is a subjugated race. As is a nation. As is a world.

If you don't like this blog post, perhaps you just read it wrong. You readers do often misunderstand us writers. You should try to be more culturally sensitive, as we blogger always are. We work hard to cultivate this perfection. It won't matter if there's anyone left to read it - because at that point I'll still have my pride and my pointing finger of blame to feed my family.

A complaining customer is a gift to a company. It means they are taking the time out of their lives to offer up some valuable marketing insights. Pity it's lost so often. Pity it's turned back as a counteraccusation so often. I'm not referring to the selfish greedy liars who just want to exploit a company's resource - they aren't customers. I refer to actual customers, especially the ones who have bought so often you recognize them.

In the end, this isn't about pride, race, argument or competition. It's about profitability pure and simple. Satisfied customers are return customers. Those who don't return, are probably not missed. There is no column on the ledger for income and investment potential lost through boneheadedness.


- TRM